The Odd Couple
by jato unit
Summary: one shot . slash . JacobxEdward . It was hard to believe that two such things, as opposite as they were, could come together because of one single action.


**AN:** Okay. I'll admit it. I'm on a Twilight high. I've just re-read Twilight and New Moon for like the thousandth time and they've made me want to write more. Anyways, since I was lucky enough not to receive any hateful flames on my last little drabble, I'm going to test my luck again. Yay:D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or New Moon.

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**.the odd couple.**

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It was odd, how easily he'd been swayed into going through with this crazy stunt, this dare that could very well get him killed if not played right. After all, his target was a delicate creature, one with dazzling gold eyes and silky bronze hair that was now swaying with the afternoon's gentle breeze. In short, a stunning creature. However, said creature was as dangerous as it was lovely, which meant that he would have to approach with the utmost caution.

Jacob Black felt very much like he was in one of those James Bond films as he picked his way through the throng of sweaty students, who were glad to be out on lunch break. After all, this particular summer day seemed to be going by unbearably slow thanks the to unnatural heat that made even the most active of the bunch sluggish and languid. He ducked behind trash cans, bushes, even people – most of which stared at Jacob as if he had just strolled out of the loony bin – as he closed in on his prey, his target.

As it was a fine summer's day most of the student body was milling around indoors where there was a lovely thing called climate control. However, Jacob was not going to be following the wave of students flowing into the cafeteria. Instead he'd be picking his way across the outdoor picnic area with the utmost precision, careful to keep his presence hidden from the golden-eyed creature he was stealthily approaching.

And soon he was hiding within a rather large bush, craftily hidden from his prey's line of sight. He shifted within the maze of branches and leaves, feeling his legs grow stiff from squatting for so long. How long had he been sitting inside this thing actually? No matter. He shifted around once more, trying to ignore the fact that one particular branch was invading quite a bit of his personal space, nearly shoving itself right up his ass, which was quite the unpleasant thought indeed.

He took in a deep breath, waiting for the right opportunity to go through with this idiotic scheme his friends had cooked up, the plot that masqueraded as a brave and noble quest and failed miserably. All it did was reflect the immaturity that blossomed around these boys and the blatant disregard for any and all danger. If Jacob hadn't been so caught up in this thrill of impersonating Indiana Jones – ahem. Pardon me. James Bond – then perhaps he would've realized how utterly stupid this plan was and what a fool he was.

Stupid it may be, but it was a dare and Jacob Black never backed down from a dare. Never. Not even one as foolish and crazy as this one, even though the chances of him coming out of this one unscathed were very small indeed, quite minute. After all, Jacob Black had his pride to protect.

Now what was this crazy, idiotic, foolish dare that would reflect all of Jacob's stupidity in one go? Well, it was quite simple actually: Jacob Black was to grope Edward Cullen – specifically on the right butt cheek – during lunch break. The instructions were simple enough, it was just that Jacob didn't know how to go about doing it. This was why he'd made extensive plans before diving into the 'doing'.

He crept forwards, grateful that he was rid of that pesky branch that seemed to like his rear quite a bit. His target was in his sights. He watched patiently as Edward talked animatedly with the other Cullen children and a certain Isabella Swan. Now, all he had to do was wait for the perfect opportunity.

It soon arose when Edward said something and got up from his seat at the picnic table. The target was on the move and it was heading straight towards Jacob, an irritated look on its pretty face. Jacob gulped, wondering if he'd been discovered so soon. It would be a pity if he had.

Quite a pity indeed. However, Edward didn't seem to have gotten up to ask why Jacob was stalking him. Instead he seemed to be going for the plastic utensils the school provided its students with, most likely retrieving one for Bella, who had been sucked into a conversation about who-knows-what with Alice.

He strolled over to the vampire, who seemed to be playing fetch for the human. Now, this was where Jacob became quite pleased with himself. He'd managed to time the walking so perfectly that he and Edward crossed each other's path in quite the convenient manner.

Looking forwards and acting as if nothing was happening, he reached out with his hand and completed his dare, grasping Edward's right buttocks with his palm and squeezing lightly. He hoped the other werewolves were watching this from their perches in the trees, eyes bulging out in the binoculars they were using.

However, Jacob's victory was short-lived as Edward swiftly whirled around with that vampire speed and grace of his before punching a grinning Jacob right in the eye. This caused the werewolf to stumble back, covering his steadily swelling and bruising eye with his hand, grin gone in a flash. Ow. That had hurt. Actually it still did.

Now, while Jacob was clutching his eye, cringing in pain, he saw something upon Edward's face that he thought he'd never ever see, especially not after this little stunt he'd just pulled. Yes, a small smile was playing upon Edward Cullen's lips, the corners lightly pulling the soft pink tissue upwards.

A smile and a black eye. Now wasn't that an odd couple?

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**AN:** Mm. Yes. It's done. Review please?


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